Are We Having Fun Yet?
Summer break during grade school may have been the most fun time of my life. I was out of school, sleeping late, and each and every day I would wake up thinking that today is going to be a fun day. Then I would make it happen.
If I wasn’t playing curb ball with neighbors, I would head to the park. We had awesome parks in my town. I would fill my day playing tetherball, box hockey, or playing baseball in a pick up game. Then it was off to the pool to cool off. So much fun.
So what about now? Are we still having fun? I play golf on occasion, although it is not always a fun game for everyone. I remember my friend George hurling his seven iron into the pond;, maybe to chase the ball he had just hit into the same pond. He found neither, and did not appear to be having fun. My wife enjoys the first half of every TV show but then “rests her eyes” for the remainder. I enjoy reading, doing research or putzing in the yard. Putzing, a word and a trait I learned from my Dad. So is this what fun looks like now…putzing?
May I suggest we start having fun like a ten year old? Isn’t retirement a bit like summer vacation? Maybe an extended summer vacation? Alice Cooper, 1973, School's Out Forever. It wasn’t back then, but it is now. Let’s start having the fun we deserve.
Now what? What should we do for fun? Mr Obvious here, but fun will look different for each of us. If my street had curbs, it doesn’t, I would go out and play curb ball. Tetherball and box hockey are no longer a thing. What do ten year olds do now-a-days?
We may need some help here, time to bring in the experts. Catherine Price, author of The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again, describes fun as a feeling not an activity ( I would argue it could be both, but ok she wrote the book). She goes on to say that” fun is the secret to feeling alive. It illuminates within you, a lightness, joy, radiant. Fun is the color of sunshine” as her daughter would say.
The key to having fun is three factors according to Catherine (sticking with the experts opinion):
Playfulness: light hearted attitude, guard down, not serious
Connection: shared experience
Flow: engage, focused, lose track of time, in the zone
This kind of fun is magical. It can energize us, unite us and allow us to be present in the moment. Fun can result in human thriving. But wait, we are not done expounding the virtues of fun.
Science says fun is good for us. Allow me to mention just five of the findings:
1) Fun improves relationships: Families that play together stay together. Drs John and Julie Gottman, relationship experts from the Seattle Gottman Research Institute, found happy couples have fun together.
2) Fun makes us smarter: A British Cohort Study of 17,000 people born in 1970 found that fun improved memory, language skills and math proficiency ( Were they playing math games?)
3) Fun reduces stress: We don’t need science to inherently know the results from this study by Kuiper and Mach in 1998. Those who laughed more showed fewer negative feelings in stressful situations. As it turns out the old adage is true - laughter is the best medicine.
4) Fun can balance hormone levels: One way to balance hormone levels is to engage in a pleasurable activity according to the Abbenhardt Study in 2013. A little Oxytocin anyone?
5) Fun can make us energetic and youthful: Stress is draining, making us tired and cranky. As Plato professed “ life must be lived as play.”
Maybe we just don’t remember how to have fun. I mean the age of ten was a long time ago. It is for me at least. With the memory issues in mind, and the fact that fun will look different for each of us, may I offer this list as a thought starter for ways we can have fun at this time in our life. Unfortunately tetherball and box hockey did not make the list. But if you live on a street with curbs …
Curb ball
Walk
Hike: just a longer walk with special shoes
Tennis or pickleball
Bowling: with or without the gutter guards
Coffee, lunch, dinner or drinks with friends
Cards: I was never a card player, but Euchre can be fun
Hang out with friends
Go to the movie: there is still something special about the big screen with popcorn
Go to an art gallery or museum
Go to your favorite restaurant, the one you liked when you were ten
Research the top 5 attractions in your area and go there
Hold hands
Go to a new _______ (fill in the blank)
Call an old friend
Go to a park
Read
Read in the park
Start a new hobby
Make your own list of fun things to do
Mike Rucker, organizational psychologist and author of the book, The Fun Habit: How the Disciplined Pursuit of Joy and Wonder Can Change Your Life, knows a thing or two about having fun. Notice the word “Disciplined" buried in the title, we will get back to that.
Rucker says: “The underlying psychology of fun is an experience of liberating engagement, a temporary release from internalized restrictions by engaging in an activity of pure enjoyment.” He goes on to say: “Fun is a strong antidote to midlife malaise. It is the quintessential counterweight to the burdens in life, keeping us balanced and mentally healthy to lead happier fuller lives.” Preach it Mike!
He points out that a statistical analysis of 200 people in the USA showed that the positive effect of fun on happiness was unaffected by age. Twenty or 60, the experience of fun will contribute to our happiness. Perfect, we are not too old to have fun. Science says so.
The best approach to achieve fun is to set aside time and location and give yourself permission to “let loose”. Yes, a disciplined approach to making fun happen. As a person who believes in intentional living myself, I love this.
So here are my thoughts to four steps on having fun:
Make your list of fun things to do. Be sure to stretch and include something new.
Set aside some time for fun.
Wake up with the right attitude. “Today is gonna be fun”. Like we did as a ten year old.
Learn from Nike and “Just Do It”
I like this “fun” topic. We may need to come back to it in another conversation. But in the meantime let me leave you with words of wisdom from George Bernard Shaw:
“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”
Enjoy your day,
