Ten Things I Learned at My Class Reunion

The proud Edsel Ford class of 1973

I recently attended my 50 year class reunion. Yes you can do the math to determine my age, and I am fine with that. It was by all accounts a wonderful experience. May I suggest if you have the chance to attend a school reunion please go. It was fun to catch up with classmates and see the many varied roads that we all took. My only regret is that I did not talk to more people. As strange as this may sound, three days since the event, I miss my classmates. People who I had not seen for years, some for 50 years, I now miss them.

Thinking about the event I learned a few things about myself and the group. Thoughts that I would like to share with you now.

We are getting old(er)

I apologize to those who take exception to the term “old”. I understand. For me, I like being old. I am working hard to master this time in life. It is not easy, but neither was the calc test, college entrance exam, the first day on the job, or raising kids. My friends, life was never meant to be easy, that is what makes it so exciting. This old thing is just one more challenge of a life well lived.

We actually like this age

There was a common theme for most of the people I talked with- many are newly retired and we like it. Less pressure, and more time to do the things we want to do. According to the book The Happiness Curve written by Jonathan Rauch, we have reached the back side of the U shape of happiness. Yes, this should be one of the happiest times of our lives. It is time to live for us. Bring it on!

People love their grandkids

My kids are on the younger side so I have not yet experienced the blessings of grandkids, but for those who have, they love it. When sharing the stories you could see the eyes light up, reminding me of great times in high school. Times when a secret crush walked into the cafeteria, our team had just won the big game, or opening night of the school play. It was magical and I loved the level of excitement. I am so happy for my grandparent classmates and look forward to this feeling someday for myself (maybe, no pressure kids).

We all have something

My son almost died when he was 15 years old. His time in the hospital was the worst 13 days of my long life. But I am not alone in my suffering. My heart ached as I heard stories of death, divorce, accidents and broken relationships. Life is full of sadness and heartbreak, no one is spared. It is just part of life.

Resilience is a crucial part of living

As I listened to the stories I could feel a sense of how people dealt with the tragedy in their life. It was never easy, not for anyone. I could feel resilience in some voices, such an important life skill that can bring some level of peace. Being resilient is not about forgetting, we will never forget, but it offers a path to move forward with a vision of the future. Something I wish for everyone with pain. 

You can teach an old dog new tricks

I never liked the phrase when using the original word-”can’t”. Our reunion proved we can, and will learn new things. It was great to hear the stories of people discovering new outlets in life that provided deep joy and satisfaction. Hanging with family, playing more golf, and travel were certainly common themes and fun to do, but our class also had our share of “relaunched lives”. New careers, new hobbies, new artistic outlets and even new spouses, each in their own way providing rewarding value in life, and delivering new tricks proving the old adage absolutely wrong. 

People were happy with themselves.

High school was hard. We did not know who we were, or where we fit in, or if we ever would. With age comes wisdom, or so they say. This wisdom provides the realization and understanding that it is ok to be me, whoever “me is”. I really enjoyed talking with all of the different “me’s”, such unique and interesting perspectives on life. 

I wish I did a better job of keeping in touch

This one is big. We graduated with 650 in our class, and over 160 came to the reunion , many with guests. Sadly I keep in regular contact with only a few. The reunion reminded me that I like these people, and a few even liked me back. 

The longest running study on happiness conducted by Harvard University tells us the number one way to be happy is by maintaining good relationships.

After talking to many of the attendees I left with one phone number, one business card and a couple of new Facebook friends. I want to be happy, I should have done better.

We will not live forever

During the program portion of the event we read the names of the 85 classmates who could not be with us, they died too soon. This was a solemn reminder that we will not live forever. 

As I heard the names being read I was touched by the moment and the memories of some of my close friends who were on the list. At the same time I was grateful for being alive and reminded that there is so much more life to be lived. 

Steve Jobs knew a few things about living and death. He said “Death is a destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it and that is because death is very likely the single best invention in life. It’s life’s great change agent, it clears out the old and makes way for the new. If you live each day as if it was you last, some day you’ll most certainly be right”. Today, it is time to live.

The future

Most of the evening was spent talking about the past. “So, what have you been up to for the past 50 years?” It is a natural conversation, to “catch up”. I wish I would have changed the narrative just a bit. Don’t get me wrong I loved hearing about what had happened. But the future is also important in our lives now. From the conversations that I had, nobody was done living. 

Statistically our future looks to be about ten years. This is one time I am glad I am not a math genius, especially statistics. I mentioned to a few people that my goal was to live to be 100. My statistical odds are less than 1%. I don’t care about the odds. 

I may not make it, but if I do I will be on the planning committee for our 85 year reunion. It will be epic. I hope to see you there. I love you guys. 

I hope you enjoy each and every day.