This is How I Want to Die
I have been accused by some of being a control freak. When you read this headline you may have agreed, all three of you who decided to continue reading. I mean I did not expect a crowd on a topic about death.
I beg to differ with the assessment about me being a control freak. I simply like to take certain actions to influence a positive outcome in life. How is this any different from the person who studies to get a good grade on a test. Or the athlete who trains to increase their chances of winning their event? They are taking actions to influence a positive outcome, just like me. I rest my case.
But death? Death is a bit different from a test or a game. Is it? Death, my friends, is just part of life, or so we learned from Forrest Gump. It was actually his Mamma who said “Dying is just part of life”. Maybe a thought from Marcus Aurelius, a famous stoic, brings death into a clearer focus- “Don’t behave as if you are destined to live forever. What’s fated hangs over you. As long as you live and while you can, become good now”.
And with that lead in, this is how I want to die:
I want to die with no fear- So I will live with a relationship with God. Heaven will be looking pretty good in my last minutes on earth.
I want to die with no sickness- So I will live as healthy as I can. I want my death certificate to read: Cause of death- Really old.
I want to die surrounded by my family- So I will live to love and care for my family each and every day.
I want to die remembered by friends- So I will live making an effort to stay in touch with people who I enjoy being around.
I want to die with no pain- Please see #2.
I want to die with no regrets- So I will live by taking the chances, resolving open issues, and forgive myself for making many mistakes.
I want to die with love in my heart- So I will live allowing myself to love fully and not hold back.
I want to die at home with clean sheets- So I will live making my bed everyday and change the sheets often.
I want to die in peace- So I will live taking care of matters in life and know that I always did my best.
I want to die on my 100th birthday- So I better live doing the first nine items on this list .
There you have it my friends. That is how I want to die. I better get living. Did I mention I want to speak at my funeral? A prerecorded message of course. I just like to influence the outcome…
Enjoy your day,
Just a little extra-
I am not the first to use the thoughts of death to teach us how to live. For the Stoics of the second century death was part of life. “If death is part of nature's will, the stoics argued, it makes no more sense to fear it than it does to fear falling leaves in autumn, or new growth in spring.”
Epictetus wrote one of his 107 essays titled “To Study Philosophy Is to Learn to Die”. He argues the idea that learning to die is a prerequisite to learning to live. And went on to say “death is not to be frightening, it is the fear of death that we need to fear”. With that shift of perspective, a reframing of thought , a new impression cultivated and reinforced the positive nature of death, and how to live.
The stoics lived with the concept called “Memento Mori” which means “remember we too are mortal. The words were often imprinted on coins and carried into battle.
Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor and Stoic Philosopher spoke a great deal of death as part of life. “I thank God for graciously granting me the opportunity of learning that death is the key which unlocks the door to true happiness.” Which in and of itself may sound a bit unsettling until we learn his complete point of view. “ Let us prepare our minds as if we’d come to the very end of life. Let us postpone nothing. Let’s balance life’s books each day. The one who puts the finishing touches on life each day is never short on happiness.”
Fast forward almost 1900 years to another influencer who had thoughts of how death affects the way we live. Steve Jobs knew a thing about death. He said “Death is a destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it, as it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention in life.” This coming from a man who was a part of inventing laptop computers that literally did change our lives. “ Death is life’s change agent,” he said. And near the end of his own life he went on to provide this advice of how death should dramatically affect how we live “If today were the last day of my life would I want to do what I have planned for the day? And whenever the answer has been no for too many days, I know it is time to change something.”
I will leave you with that.
References
Weaver, Tobias, August 9, 2020, How Do Stoics View Death, Orionphilosophy.com
Staff, Top 10 Steve Jobs Quotes on Death, Deeper Freedom
Staff, How To Not Fear Death, Daily Stoic
