Life Was Better Back Then
The old days, oh how we miss them. Life was so much better back then. But was it, really?
Please don’t get me wrong. I love nostalgia - wonderful memories of yesteryear. And just to give some credibility to my claim, allow me to share a few bars from the hit from 1975 “Old Days” by Chicago.
Can you hear Peter Cetera belting out the words -
”Old days
Good times I remember.
Gold days
Days I’ll always treasure.”
Yes, I have many memories that I will always treasure.
However I am smacked in the face with the quote from
Marcel Proust who reminds us that “Remembrances of the past are not necessarily as they were.”
Our memory tends to forget some stories and retell others in a way that may just hide the facts. Sometimes in a bad way, but most often forgetting bad events, and reinforcing good memories.
Nick Chater, Professor of Behavioral Science says “Human memory has a tendency to filter out bad experiences. Our belief is that life was better in the past because of loss aversion and our rose tinted glasses.”
I am actually ok with this psychological trick that our brain plays. Our library of memories keeps the good and throws out the bad. Nice…except. Nostalgia can get us stuck in the past, which is not a good place to live as we age.
The word nostalgic originated as a medical diagnosis for Swiss mercenaries suffering from homesickness, sorrowful longing for the past. Not exactly the emotional lift that comes to mind when I am lost in memories but maybe a reminder of the potential danger of “too much of a good thing” can be a bad thing.
This quote from Mary Sarton provides some words of wisdom that redirects our conversation,
”I suppose real old age begins when one looks (only) backward rather than forward.” May I provide my own twist on another time honored quote that we hear from time to time -
Cherish yesterday - precious memories.
Honor today - live in the moment
Embrace tomorrow - plan and prepare
Nostalgia allows us to remember the best parts of our youth while conveniently forgetting the awkward, exhausting, and sometimes painful realities of our past.
Our truth? Every age has it’s magic. Life is what we make it at any age.
Let’s continue to find the magic.
Enjoy your day.
Just a little extra-
Healthy ageing(Old English spelling) researchers at Flinders University suggest that life can get better as we age. Associate Professor Tim Windsor goes on to say “The research shows older people gain wisdom to use mindfulness as a means to improve wellbeing.”
I am in. Who is with me?
With that, please allow me to provide a list of (potential) ways life gets better as we age.
Freedom. Take that and run with it in any direction you choose. That is freedom.
A different perspective. Our broader view allows us to see life differently.
Authenticity. Free to be me.
A chance to reinvent. This could be fun.
Emotional intelligence grows.
Nostalgia with no regret.
A deeper appreciation of…life.
Wisdom, whatever that means.
Priorities that matter.
Ability to live in the present.
The joy of grandchildren. (So I have heard.)
Senior discounts.
There is so much more I could add to the list, but I think I will stop now.
Hey, I would love to hear your thoughts. Please add a comment of what are you enjoying on your aging journey.
References
Lange, Brenda. August 16, 2022. The Benefits of Aging. Columbia University Irving Medical Center
Finders University. March 26, 2020. Why Life Can Get Better As We Age. Science Daily
January 13, 2015. Why We Think Life Was Better In The Good Old Days. The University of Warwick